The Cheat Sheet every Dad should keep in his Wallet
Being a Dad to your little girl or boy is possibly the biggest responsibility you will ever have in your
life. It will be the longest commitment you ever make in your life and it will be the source a lot of you r emotional turmoil’s. I am a dad of a beautiful little girl who makes me laugh, drive me nuts, touches my heart, runs me around and who makes me want to do better. No other relationship will be as wild
as this. But what is being a dad?
As dads, one of the fears is that we won't be a great dad and that well mess up. It comes with the job. Unfortunately, what does NOT come with the job is a set of instructions for our little ones.
I will share my fatherhood tips that will hopefully help us dads become better dads to our little ones. If you are already doing these GREAT if not try it and see the difference in your child.
1. Cherish the time with our children. I know time has flown by and it seems like my little girl was in diapers. Now she is running around talking and has her own thoughts. I realized that time with our little ones is precious and short - make the most of this time with them. Make the time you spend with them "quality time". Loving time. Try and spend time with them when you are there and focus on them. They know when you are not.
2. Don't look at anything as "mom" duties -- share responsibilities. The traditional mom/dad roles should not apply in this day and age. I know when my daughter was little I loved to share in the responsibilities of my little girl. I was involved in everything, from changing a poopy diaper to preparing her 3:00 a.m. feeding. It was a wonderful time to bond with my little girl and an amazing feeling.
3. Love and affection conquer all. This should be the center of your dad philosophy----show them love and affection. Hug them and tell them you love them. When you do this look into their eyes to show your sincerity. Give them affection, which means a lot to our kids.
4. Kids like to make decisions. While it’s easy to be an authoritarian parent, what you are teaching your little one is to submit to orders no matter what. Let them make decisions, and they will grow up more capable -- and happier. Our job is to let them make decision but to also set parameters. Give them the decision on ordering their choice of a healthy breakfast, their drink of choice (juice etc).
5. A little patience goes a long way. I know as a parent I know how easy it could be to lose patience. Losing patience or getting angry with your little one is not the best thing for them and we, as parents, must remember that. I take a very deep breath or sit back and ask my little one why she did that to try and understand. I have found when I practice patience with my little one and talk it out with her we accomplish more.
6. Read to them regularly. It is crucial to read to our little ones from infancy on. It gets them in the habit or reading and prepares them for a lifetime of learning. This is a good way to spend special time together and will become a tradition. When you read to them look at their expressions that range from excitement to awe.
7. Don't be an absent dad. The biggest mistake dads make is not being there for our children. It's imperative to set some time aside daily and weekly for them. Don't let anything take away from that sacred and special time with them. And by all means DO NOT miss the important moments in your child’s life --- a soccer game, a ballet show, or a swimming class -- this is a special time in their lives and it means the world
8. Let them play. Children really develop through playing -- and while it might seem obvious, you should allow them as much free play as possible.
9. Spark their imagination. Play with your kids, creating forts, dressing up like imaginary creatures, planting seeds, the possibilities are endless and they will get so much out of it.
10. Limit TV and video games. I'm not saying eliminating TV, but too much of this type of entertainment keeps them from doing more imaginative playing, reading and getting exercise outside. It is recommended an hour of TV time but you set the boundary for the "media time".
11. Learn the firm word "no" I'm a firm believer in giving children the freedom to choose and free play and lots of other freedoms, with limits. Parents who don't set boundaries are going to have children with behavior problems and who have problems when they grow up. It’s also not good to say no then say yes when they throw a tantrum in the middle of the store. Teach them you no is firm but only say it when you really feel that it's a boundary you need to set.
12. Treat their mom with respect, always. Some fathers can be abusive toward their spouse, and that will lead to a cycle of abuse when the child grows up. But beyond physical or verbal abuse, there's the milder sin against the child's mother, disrespectful behavior. If you treat your child’s mother with disrespect, your child will not only learn that behavior, but grow up with the insecurities and other emotional problems. Treat your child’s mother with respect at al times.
13. Stand together with mom. Its no good to have one parent say one thing, just to have the other contradict that parent. Instead you and mom should be working together as a parenting team, and should stand by each other's decisions. That said, it's important that you should talk out these decisions before hand, so, that you don’t end up having to support a decision you strongly disagree with.
